Tag Archives: ImNoMary

The Joy of Kids

Uncategorized, , , ,

Growing up you hear “you’re giving me gray hairs”. Now days I’m not the one hearing it but the one thinking it. Yes, I can feel the red fade a little everyday thanks in part to the toddler. This morning I roll my window down and it won’t go back up. The window has done this before…last October. I paid $300 to replace the motor for it. Less than a year and it seems to have happened again. Now, of course I wasn’t in a place to drop what I was doing and head to the shop so I do that thing where you hope, pray, and every 5 minutes just about you try to roll it back up. Of course it doesn’t work and you eventually decide to just accept that something is broken. But you still keep trying the button just in case. After about 10 minutes something actually happens. Low and behold, it goes back up! That is when it hits you. It probably wasn’t the window, rather all the mud/dirt on your window you found this morning. You know how it got there and you knocked the big clots off of it thinking you were good to go, but nope, you needed a little…excitement to get you ready for the day apparently.


For those who are wondering…for the most part we live outside the city so we burn things. Mostly cardboard boxes, pizza boxes, and other such things. Well, trying to be a responsible adult I like to have the water hose on and ready just in case. We have a good nozzle that has the different settings on it but is also easy to use because yes, I let my child play with the water hose. Why not right?! He likes to take his semi and construction trucks outside and play in the mud and wash them off. What I didn’t expect was for him to start picking up mud and slinging it at my car. I wasn’t worried, I could just spray it off when we went inside, which is what I did. I just didn’t get all of it apparently. The actual mud puddle is just on one side so I didn’t think about checking the driver’s side for it too. it wasn’t until after I got him buckled in and walked around to get in the car that I find, my side had been mudded too. All well, no big deal. That is until I need to roll my window down and it doesn’t come back up. By now it wasn’t wet mud, it had dried and was just dirt clots which I knocked off the best I could. Apparently that was just enough for it to get stuck. After the ten minutes of trying, it finally broke loose.

It is times like these when I truly think God has a very special place in heaven for those who teach/take care of children for a living!! Lawd help us!



Imagination

Uncategorized, , , ,

If this quote from Einstein is true then I have a genius on my hands. Raising a boy, who is in the toddler years, has shown me what it is like to have a vivid imagination. It’s pretty magical. It has also shown me that part of the miserableness of adulthood is that we don’t use ours enough. My child is happiest when his imagination is going full steam. The only time it gets any better is when he has someone else using his imagination as well. His imagination is what turns his mommy, on her knees in the living room floor, into a bull and him into a bull rider. His imagination is what turns his very large dump truck outside into a truck wash when he asks me to get the water hose and fill up the dump with water. As an adult I can look at a toy car and think, how do kids have so much fun with these. Adulthood is the loss of your imagination. We start relying on outside things to stimulate our minds. It makes me think of magicians or illusionists, whatever you want to call them, when they tell you that you don’t actually want to know how they pull off the trick because it ruins it. That is what happens to people as we grow. We learn how things work and suddenly we can’t be entertained by pushing a car around the floor.

Why don’t we bring back that magic? Why not go through life pretending and using our imagination. Even if we know it is just pretend, do it anyway. Make the squealing tire noises when you’re driving to pretend you’re a race car driver, just keep an eye on the gas. Go get some supplies from a craft store and pretend you’re Michael Angelo painting the Sistine Chapel, it may no be pretty but it could be fun. When we have fun everything becomes easier and simpler. When balancing your checkbook, pretend to be the big boss like the kids do. Forget that you know what responsibilities actually comes with being a big boss for just a moment and see how those daunting tasks become fun activities. Kids play doctor, banker, cowboys and Indians, so why can’t we? Who knows, you could come up with a genius idea while you’re having fun.

Into the Future

Uncategorized, , , , ,

If we all had superpowers and could see into the future, life would be just a little bit easier.

Adulting. The hardest part of growing up. No matter what, you are never prepared for adult life. They can try to teach you life skills, make sure you have common sense, teach you the ins and outs of banking, but there as teenagers we just roll our eyes and out the other ear all that wisdom goes. Also, no one can really teach you about the in between times. The crossroads you will most definitely come across. I mean, how do you know which path you are supposed to take. Sometimes it isn’t a complete cross either, instead it is just a fork. Left or right only. The only thing you can count on in times like these is the fact that you don’t know what is further down the road in any direction. You could be choosing the road that ends at the edge of a cliff, which would be good if we had the ability sprout wings and fly whenever we wanted. Unfortunately, people tell you to be cautious and not reckless. They tell you to think about your options and consequences. Well, guess what, all cross roads pretty much end in a leap of faith. Just like jumping into a pool you close your eyes, hold your nose, and you leap. All the while praying your bathing suit doesn’t malfunction. To those who can go under without holding your nose closed….I applaud you. When I try to do that I get that horrible feeling of snorting chlorinated water.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
–Jeremiah 29:11


Been A Morning

Uncategorized, , , ,

I’m not a huge coffee drinker. If I do drink coffee it has so much extra stuff in it that you can’t actually taste the coffee. Today, however, I needed something, I even got an extra shot in my Frappuccino!
I’m not sure who exactly coined the phrase “terrible twos” but I am pretty sure they didn’t have to deal with the after twos. It should be “terrible toddlers”. As infants, they cry when they need something, food, a clean diaper, tylenol, sleep, etc. Toddlers, on the other hand, cry because they left their shoes at the baby sitter’s house. This morning my toddler cried because yesterday he broke all the bananas off the bunch and so they were all super brown this morning. He also cried when I made him take the clothes he slept in to the dirty hamper, which he does everyday, along with taking his medicine.

Another thing, the toddler stage is where their attitude starts coming in. Since he was mad that he left his sandals at the sitter’s house, he did not want to wear his flip flops. These are the two shoes he WANTS to wear in the summer; sandals and flip flops. So what does he do? He knocks them off the end of the couch with way too much tude and says he doesn’t like them, that they are “ew”. Okay son, you wear them everyday but now they are “ew”. Besides, I wasn’t even putting them on him. He wanted to wear his paw patrol tennis shoes but his tude got the best of him so as he walked by the flip flops he…got rude. I call it being ugly. No matter how cute you are, throw a fit and you ugly! Needless to say he did not enjoy my reaction.

I do have to say that, even though they have big tudes, they sure don’t last very long. By the time we walked out to the car he was happy. No tude, just goofiness. Just an example of his goofiness, this past Sunday my mom had a hard time stifling her laughter because I had to tell my son to “get Fred out of his cereal.” Fred, from Scooby Doo, was taking a swim in my son’s Trix cereal.

“Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.”
–2 Timothy 4:2
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
— Ephesians 4:2

The Laundry

Uncategorized, , , ,

Knowing I needed pants to wear to work this week, I went to the bathroom and just grabbed the unsorted pile of laundry that was in the floor and throw them in the washer. It wasn’t until I started to put them in the dryer that I find something else went in with the clothes. Everything I pulled out had this white stuff on it. Almost like a receipt had been in a pocket. The only thing was, there was too much for it to be a receipt. Then, I am able to see the bottom of the washer and there it is. A pull-up.

I am not one to just leave pull-ups laying around. I mean, the only time my son wears a pull-up is at night. I’m guessing one morning when he went potty after waking up he just left it in the floor. For the most part he wakes dry and clean so I’m not worried about what he had left in the pull-up. BTW, just like diapers, pull-ups start to disintegrate when they reach their limit!

So, I go ahead and put the laundry in the dryer cause I have no patience or energy to deal with it. Guess what….the dryer took care of it! No more white stuff! At least none on the tee shirt I pulled out and wore to work.

You would think after 4 years of mother-hood I would have learned to double check that I didn’t have something extra in my hands. Double checking is essential when you have a little one who likes to leave things where they land or put things in odd places.

The “Right” Kind of Help

Uncategorized, , , , , ,

I am all about loving thy neighbor, but when that neighbor comes into your place of business just to criticize the kind of help you give, it becomes very difficult. I work for a non-profit that supports other organizations and their programs. We are not set up to just give out money, we don’t have a closet full of goods to hand out. We keep about 10 backpacks with basic hygiene products and a small blanket but that is it. Also, I’m all about helping people, where we live we don’t have an actual homeless shelter and yes that stinks and we need one, but we can’t just create a homeless shelter. We run off of donations given to our annual campaigns. That is how are able to do what we do. Now, to the homeless woman who likes to just walk in and criticize us that we aren’t helping in the “right” way, I am sorry your needs are not being met. We try to help the best we can, even in light of the current pandemic situations.

I try no to judge, I really do. However, when a person comes in twice in the span of a few months you get a little frustrated. The first time in she stated that she even had a degree in sociology, and then proceeded to grill a co-worker on her beliefs and her view of the world today, while criticizing her and our organization. This woman seems intelligent, I watch her walk up and down the street all day long pushing her cart so she isn’t completely disabled. It makes you wonder why she herself does not have a job. Matter of fact, instead of complaining to those who have no power, she herself could make a difference.

In times like these, it becomes difficult to be gracious and giving. Right after she left I had to say a prayer for the mean thoughts that ran through my head. I prayed for grace, mercy, and tolerance. Just a rule of thumb, you don’t pray for patience because he will test you! I prayed for forgiveness. It is so hard not to judge those that judge us. However, we do not have to act on those judgements. Just because something flashes across your mind doesn’t mean you have to say it or do it. Instead, wait for a second and see what else flashes through. It may be your saving grace.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you…”
— Luke 6:27

Complacency

Uncategorized, , , ,

I am terrible about being a person that settles with becoming complacent. “Things aren’t terrible so I’m good”. If you find yourself saying this guess what…you are not good! The worst part is what I become complacent in. My walk with God has not been in something I seek to improve on. Even though there is no church services for me right now does not give me a reason to slack. I say a prayer every now and then, I sit in on the zoom meetings with my Sunday school class and I am still going through the motions, but I am not growing as a Christian. I can’t remember the last time I actually opened my bible. I carry it with me in my backpack. It goes to work, school, anywhere my backpack goes which is, for the most part, everywhere. About once a week I think to myself, “I’m going to start reading this and doing that”. Do I ever actually do it? NOPE! You know why? I have become COMPLACENT! Want to know what this leads to????? Complacency in other parts of your life. Think of it like an infection, if you don’t clear it out and get your butt in gear everything you do is going to be “not bad, so it’s good”. The worst part, it is going to spread to how you interact with your kids. “They aren’t bothering me so it’s fine.” Not fine. This is something I need to work on and I know it, but again, complacency. Another way to think about it is like glitter. If you ever do any arts or crafts with glitter then you know the problem. “A little dash of glitter will jazz this up”. NOPE! There is no such thing as a little dash of glitter. It spreads. A year later you will still find it in the floor and getting stuck to your feet. Same thing with complacency. “I need to clean the car. But it is hot and it doesn’t smell and nobody will know it is messy. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Then, a month down the road you still haven’t cleaned it.

What we don’t realize is that being complacent in your walk with God is actually hurting you and setting you up to fall on your face. The longer you go without growing in your faith, the more vulnerable you are to temptations. Your faith is like a muscle. If you don’t use it and work at it, it atrophies. Complacency is almost worse than turning away from God because you don’t know that it is happening. It just hits you one day that you can’t remember the last real prayer you said, or the last thing you studied. If you aren’t growing in your faith, are you even living in your faith?

“One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.”
— Proverbs 18:9

DON’T Fight the Power

Uncategorized, , , , ,

Ever find yourself fighting tooth and nail for something YOU want? Does it ever seem like you are “settling” instead of getting what YOU want? We, as human beings, have a selfish nature about us. Think about your day-to-day life and see if you can count how many times you think “what do I want?”. Now, think about how many times getting what you want has actually caused problems? Sometimes the job we want and the job God has for us are two very different things. Same with cars, houses, the people in our lives. I can look back and see the things I have gotten because I wanted them and how that turned out differently than expected. One job may have a better pay, but the other might be where God wants you. You could be there to impact the people around you and spread His love. Maybe that other job required you to travel all the time and be away from your family. Maybe it would mean working with people who would end up bringing you down, or leading you away from God.
If you find your dream car at a you are willing to pay, but it doesn’t fit into the life you are living and you need something else. You find yourself in a “this or that” situation because of what YOU want. Sometimes that dream car has flaws you don’t even know about yet. Flaws that you don’t find until you’re stuck on the side of the road and you now know why that dream car was priced just right; it’s a piece of junk. For those with kids, how many times have you offered a cookie or treat to your child and they refuse because it isn’t the RIGHT cookie. For my son, it is utensils and cups that I often get wrong. He also has no preference on clothes until the morning and I have gotten the “wrong” shirt.

How many times do we find ourselves fighting God because we aren’t getting our way. God knows where we are supposed to be, when we are supposed to be there, and who we are supposed to be with. Instead of fighting against the things we don’t want all the time, we should be open to seeing what God has in store for us. The path He has for you may not be the most glamorous and/or ideal for US, but it is exactly where you are supposed to be. Think about Jesus for a second. Do you think he was excited about his crucifixion? Probably not. However, he didn’t fight it. When Judas betrayed him and led the guards to him, he didn’t fight. He didn’t let his disciples fight. He knew his path was going to be hard and painful. He also knew what his path meant. It was God’s path and he didn’t fight against it. He fought FOR it. So maybe we should too.

“Jesus Commanded Peter; ‘Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?'” –John 18:11

When you are unsure of God’s choice, ask Him for it.

I Dropped the Ball

Uncategorized, , , ,

I am not an avid coffee drinker. When I do purchase “coffee” it has so many flavorings and additives that you can’t taste the coffee very much, i.e. Caramel-Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. Well, there is a local coffee shack that every coffee lover goes nuts for. I, however, would rather have smoothie king in the mornings. With that being said, previously working at a church means that between Christmas and Staff Appreciation in October, I received 3 gift cards to the local coffee shack. $30 worth of coffee. With one of the cards, I did what I did last year, and gave it to someone else in the office that gets their coffee there every morning. The other two, I kept so I could give the place an actual chance. A month or so ago, I did just that. It was alright, but it is definitely for the coffee lover. A bit too strong for me, even as a blended drink. Then, today I forgot to grab my drink from the fridge so I decided, one more chance. I get to the drive-thru window and the guy tells me that the person in front has paid for mine. One of those pay-it-forward chains. Between my anxiety about going to a place I’m not used to, holding up the line due to them punching my punch card, and trying to pay with 2 gift cards, I got frazzled and dropped one of the gift cards. Which of course made the anxiousness worse and I couldn’t stand it and pulled away with my drink. I BROKE THE CHAIN!! As I rolled out of their lot and up to the main street, I found the fallen card. In my lap, kind of stuck between my legs. If I had just looked down…..

I need to restore the chain! So, I am now trying to think of how to just give the gift cards and my punch card for the shack to use until it is all used up. You can’t just walk in because, like I said, it’s a shack with drive-thru windows on both sides. Remember me saying that coffee lovers go nuts for this place? Even with two windows and a guy that walks through the cars with a tablet taking orders, both lines are always long.

Moral of the story, don’t worry so much. If anxiety is something you struggle with, like I do, it makes life harder than it already is. It turns the simplest things, like getting coffee, into a big ordeal. You can’t control every little thing, in every little situation. Don’t worry about what people may think if you don’t know something or you don’t know how to order. They don’t actually care. If it turns out they do care, they got problems too, so just pray for them people. Letting anxiety take over can ruin your day, cause you to miss important little moments, and even bring down the people around you. So, take a breath and let it be.

25 “‘Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?'” –Luke 12:25-26


Surviving The Storm

Uncategorized, , , ,

The Corona Virus has come and rocked our world. Businesses have closed, or at least modified their way of operating. Big companies and small businesses have had alter their day to day operations. People have lost jobs or moved to working from home. There are still many people working, such as medical fields, food industries, grocery workers. Even I still come into the office everyday, but our door is closed and locked to the public. As of now, there are no definitive plans for anything. It’s what they are calling a “fluid” situation. People are having to quarantine themselves. If you don’t see how it has become a problem, you are part of the problem. However, just go to google and search for “covid-19” and you will soon learn. With all this negativity though, I have seen some pretty good things. People waiving rent for those affected. People helping people with everyday necessities, monetary donations, donations of clothing and food. I have personally seen people come together in a way God would want us too. For a while now I have had the thought that God is putting us through this to reconnect our world. A world that has become so divided we can’t tell right from wrong anymore.

We thought it couldn’t be worse. Then, Saturday March 30, a tornado barreled its way through our town. Today is 2 days after the storm and our injury/fatality number sits at 18 MINOR injuries. This storm ripped a part a mall. A mall that on a normal Saturday would have been packed with people. Not to mention the houses and stores surrounding it. However, because of covid-19 quarantine rules set in place, the stores were practically empty. To say the least, covid-19 saved a lot of people Saturday. I work at a local non-profit and I can tell you the giving torwards those in need right now has just begun, and boy it has started off with a bang.

Instead of looking at all the darkness going on, Focus on the good that is coming out of it. See what God wants you to see, not what the devil wants. God is trying to bring us together and keep us safe. God is in control. In all the chaos that is happening, find your calm in the storm, in Him.