Tag Archives: ImNoMary

The Reason for the Season

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This time of year seems to be the busiest. Travel plans, gift buying, keeping track of which family is where. We have crammed so much into such a short amount of time that we can’t truly enjoy it. It has also caused us to forget the true meaning of this holiday. Once Halloween is over people instantly get into Christmas mode. Making lists for themselves and lists for buying to give to other people. We can’t wait for those Christmas bonuses and Christmas club checks to hit the bank. We just keep going, going, going, and more going. Going to see family. Going to buy presents. Going to buy decorations. Going to buy wrapping paper. Going out to eat. Going to parties.

For those of us where money is really tight, Christmas is stressful. All of a sudden you have to buy as many cool toys as possible for your kids. The newest outfit for your parents or sibling. Our focus has been taken off of the the reason for the season. The real reason for the season. I too am guilt of forgetting the important part of this season.

Christmas wasn’t just created by marketing companies to bring in buckets of revenue. They just piggy backed for the profits. Christmas is for celebrating the birth of Jesus; the true ultimate gift. God gifted us with the birth of Jesus so that he could die for our sins to be wiped away. For our sins to be forgiven. The reason we gift things to each other is to symbolize the gifts given by the wisemen. Over the years the gift giving has become something completely different.

Don’t let this time of year become too much of a stresser. Just relax and enjoy the time spent with family and friends. Don’t worry about getting the “perfect” gift. Anything given in love is enough for those that love you too.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” –James 1:17

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” –Isaiah 9:6

His Plans

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Got some inconvenient news yesterday. The office is eliminating my position to open up a different position. Unfortunately this means I have about a month to find a new job. Hopefully one that will allow me to stay in school. This was not what I was hoping for but I keep reminding myself that God has his plan. He put me here as a stepping stone to get me to where He wants me. This is a scary time but I find comfort in knowing that He has plans for me that I just don’t know about yet. I know He will take care of our family and provide with whatever we may need. When problems like this arise we need to focus on the solution. The solution is God. He will not only provide the right job, but everything in between now and then.

In times like these we all have a choice. Either focus on the negatives, which in turn causes darkness to seep into our hearts. These negatives are going to be the holes that the devil will try to get his foot in. Instead of letting these bad things bring you down focus on the positives. Remember that God has plans for you, you just don’t know what they are. He is constantly working on you to make you stronger, to bring you closer to Him. He will not forsake you as long as you remember that He has everything under control.

If you need proof, here it is. Yesterday before the bad news a sweet lady came in to the office. Her daughter works in the office too, but she stopped at my desk and handed me a card and told me that their sunday school class “adopted” my family for Christmas. What was in the card doesn’t matter. What does matter is that this class was led to help a member of their church. God put it in their hearts that part of their “extended” family was going to need love. That is what matters. I always say that your church family is just that, a family. People you can lean on, and count on, when you are in need. This family is God given just like your biological kin.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” –Jeremiah 29:11

My thanks for my family, and for His provisions will never seem like enough.

Don’t Fret

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Going through hard times makes it difficult to be positive and worry free. But remember, God will bring you through whatever trials you face. It is too easy to see the negative in everything these days. Sometimes, that is all we see. It is alright to see possible bad outcomes of a situation, just don’t dwell on them. You never know what could be just around the corner!

Not going to lie, I just this morning almost gave myself a lot of stress over nothing. Instead of seeing things in the true order they happened, I just saw the bad spots not noticing the good spot at the top of the list. The top of that list is the only thing that matters right now but I was too focused on the stuff under it to even notice. Sometimes we need to just slow down, take a breath, and see the whole picture, not just part of it. Seeing only the negative spots is what can cause you to lose a tiny bit of faith. We don’t need to lose any of our faith.

(Let’s be real honest, it was my bank account transactions that got me a little nervous this morning.)

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” –Psalm 23:1

Watch Your Tone

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I recently posted about biting your tongue when what you want to say will only make the matters worse. Well, you also may want to watch your tone of voice. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to watch my tone and didn’t. All it did was make a not bad situation into a bad situation. Maybe bad is the wrong word, tense could be used here. A tense situation. I got a little frustrated with someone who isn’t easy for anyone to deal with and it very much showed in how I said what I said. Some situations it is ok to say something, as long as you say it nicely. Tone of voice is what tells your mood or your feelings about the situation. If you’re making a joke, your tone says that. In my situation, my tone was quite tart, even though I didn’t mean it to be. Of course, the person I said it to got a little angry and did the right thing by just walking away and calming down. Afterwards he did come back and go to a coworker of mine instead of coming to me, but that’s alright. No harm done. We live and we learn. My mouth has gotten me into trouble all my life. I talk too much and sometimes I use the wrong tone. That is why I need Jesus. Because I am not perfect and make mistakes.

“Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.” –Colossians 4:6

Thou Shall Bite Thy Tongue

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This week included a couple of times that almost caused me to bite my tongue….off. Just an FYI even when you get the chance to say “see, told ya so!” to one of those people that it would be so satisfying to say it, you shouldn’t. All that is going to do is create frustration and anger. Probably in both of you. There is no good that can come out of you saying that. None, what so ever.

Another time it is good to bite your tongue, when you are dealing with someone ELSE’S family. Especially a friend’s spouse’s family. I do not care how much they are in the way of you carrying heavy boxes, it isn’t your place. The only thing saying something will accomplish is adding more stress to your friend. So, don’t be selfish. Don’t be causing problems you won’t have to deal with.

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” –Ephesians 4:29

“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.”
–Proverbs 21:23

Lug Nuts

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It has been an interesting week. Got a new tire Monday for the flat I had on Saturday. Well, had to go back to the shop cause that brand new tire has a slow-ish leak. The Lord is testing my patience. So, they pull my car around and I can see through the big glass window that there seems to be some trouble with my car. One of those pesky lug nuts won’t come off, which means it needs a new stud. Mind you, my friend’s husband, the mechanic, already replaced one cross threaded stud this past Sunday when we were looking for the hole in the flat tire. Now another stud that has to be replaced, I prayed it wouldn’t cost much cause momma is broker than broke. Well, they had to wait for the new stud to get to the shop from bumper and bumper; twice. They originally delivered the wrong stud. What should have taken maybe an hour, took 2. However, they did find the leak. It wasn’t the tire but the valve stem, which is connected to that sensor that tells you when your tire is getting low on air. So, new stud for the lug nut and my choice of replacing a $60 sensor plus labor or a free valve stem without a sensor. I opted for the free option. Finally, after 2 hours they tell me it’s ready and that I am good to go. PRAISE JESUS!! They didn’t charge me for a thing! Not one thing! My “low tire” light will be on until I get a sensor but, if I dealt with it being on for the first year I can deal with it a little bit longer!!

October 12, I got 4 new tires, an alignment, an oil change, and a replacement air sensor. The next week I had to go in for a new window motor. On that day the guy working the front desk made the joke, “Doing a lot of work on that thing. It’s going to be a whole new car before too long.” Well, apparently it is going to be a whole new car right down to the studs!

I thank God for blessing me with patience and a good attitude.

“A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.”
–Proverbs 15:18

“Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered displays folly.” –Proverbs 14:29

8 “The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.9 Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.”
–Ecclesiastes 7:8-9

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” –John 16:33

The Subway

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Yesterday afternoon, while at work, I found this gift card discreetly tucked into the side pocket of my backpack. I have no clue who it is from, but that doesn’t matter. This is what God does. Yes, some person or persons had me in their thoughts, which I am so grateful for, but God put me there. God put this wonderful person and me together. He knew that we would need each other and love on each other because that is what He wants us to do. Especially in the past few months I have come into work to find little happies like this and I couldn’t be more grateful. Yes, I thank those people who have taken me in as one of their own, but I thank God more. God created these people and me. God brought us together like family. God blessed them so that they could “pay it forward”. When we show love for each other, we aren’t showing our love, we are showing God’s love. Never be afraid of sharing God’s love with each other.

“We love because he first loved us.” –1 John 4:19

The True Fam!

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My last post ended on how your church family is one important thing. This post, is the continuation.

In my D-Group this morning we were talking about how your fellow church goers aren’t just acquaintances, or strangers you share a pew with. They are truly your family. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ and we should live that way. I cannot count how many people have commented on how they remember when I was born. I was the youngest and some of them had children the same age as my siblings. Some of them grew up with my mom. Some of them just know me through the church. Most of my church family has watched me grow into the person I am today. I might have strayed from the original path, but they still love and care for me. Now, I get to watch my son grow up with these same people. People who see him every week are saying, “He’s getting so big! I remember you when you were that little.” and I can’t explain the feelings I get every time I hear those words and see how much this family of mine loves and cares for my son. However, it wasn’t until this morning that I realized something I was completely oblivious too. A wise woman said to me, “they love and care for him because they loved and cared for his momma first.” This lovely lady is one of those that can remember when I was born and it was then that I uncovered yet a new level of family within my church family.

For all of you reading this, if you haven’t already, find you a church family. God doesn’t want us to be alone. He wants us working together and lifting each other up. Don’t be afraid to get more involved in your church. It can be intimidating, and you probably don’t think you have the time, bu trust me, you do. Once you start being truly active in your new family, you will see just how much God wants us to come together. The people that love and care for you will make it seem so easy just to be there. They want you there, they want to help you in anyway they can. They want to love on you and your family because that is what God is. He is love. Whatever you do, don’t let yourself get too busy or too untrusting for God’s love.

7 “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”
–1 John 4:7-10

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” –John 13:34-35

The Changing of a Tire

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Yesterday was Saturday, and I took a day trip to go see my dad. Of course the little one was super excited to see his Paw. When we got back to town I left the little with my mother so I could go to a girl’s night. A girl’s night is always a good thing. It is nice to just get out and not have a shadow…that talks…and potties in his pants. Anywho, me and 2 other girls go to leave at around 9. As I started to pull out of the parking lot of these apartments, something was wrong. So, I back up, get out, and oh what a flat tire!! Luckily, one of the girls was behind me and stopped to check on me. This friend just oh so happens to be married to an actual mechanic. Coincidence? I think not. About an hour later I have my spare on, my bad tire in the cargo area, and I am headed home. Luckily I have another friend that offered to help me find the hole in the tire so we can patch up the next day. Also, the mechanic guy found a problem with one of my studs for my lugnut. He offered to replace it.

Sunday is here. The morning is uneventful, which in my world is actually a good thing. We are all set to find a hole and replace a stud later this afternoon. All this to me sounds like a big hassle. All I can think is that I have become the class nuisance. When I say think, I mean I think. Not once did any of the people helping complain or act like it was a bother. It was kind of weird. I am definitely one of those people that hates asking for favors ’cause I feel like a burden.

Never do I ever want to take people for granted, but there is some kind of comfort just knowing, there are genuinely good people in this world. Before really finding this home of mine, My SUV would probably still be sitting in that parking lot. Now, I’m not sure if these guys know just how much of a lifesaver they were. I mean, where the hole is we couldn’t patch it, but since they are only a month old, being able to take it back to the shop that sold it to me is going to be easier since I can show them where it is. A tiny crack in a brand new all terrain tire is not acceptable.

On top of all this nuisance-ness, there is my son. My son who loves watching things. Loves cars. My son who also has this fascination with one of the guys’ “racecar”. Again, neither of them acted like it was a bother. This little 3 year old asking a whole bunch of questions and just talking a mile a minute about nothing in general. They actually showed an interest. Again, the comfort in knowing that he isn’t always a nuisance is overwhelming. There is a reason why it is referred to as a church FAMILY!! Enter Sister Sledge. God knew I would need help throughout the days to come. That is why he put people in my life to answer that call. The people in your life aren’t coincidental. Nothing is. God has a hand in everything that happens.

“Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity. ” –1 Timothy 5:1-2

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”
–Isaiah 41:10

Becoming Mommy

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I first became a mom 3 years ago to a wonderful little boy. However, my journey started before he was born. I remember finding out I was pregnant and my heart sank. I wasn’t ready to have a baby. All my life I was the one who thought that not having kids wasn’t the worst thing on the planet. If I ever did have kids I just knew I would at least be married, and have a good steady job. But, no, here I was living with a guy in his mom’s basement. Needless to say, this guy was no catch of the day. I was actually scared of him. My head was already looking for ways out of the relationship without admitting to my family I was wrong, and without him slashing my tires, as he threatened to do on more than one occasion. Then, the two pink lines showed up. A smart person would wise up and leave, I, however, was not making the wisest decisions at the time. Obviously. So, I decide to try and stick it out. The guy seemed excited about the new addition, so I, of course, thought he would change. This is where all reason flew out of my mind. I mean what man has ever changed, for the better, because of an unexpected baby. He did change, for the worse. Before, he was just verbally aggressive. Now he was just mean, but I was stubborn and thought I was stuck and this is what I deserved.

I stuck it out for about 3 months before something in my brain finally clicked and I just admitted to myself this wasn’t good. I reached out to my mother and she was at my side in a heartbeat. (That is one thing about my family, I have messed up and made mistake after mistake but they are still there for me.) The February before my son was born I actually had to get an order of protection against him. I moved back in with my mom and got my butt back in church. I say I got myself back into church but I was just going through the motions. Saying the right things, nodding my head, putting on the smile, but I still wasn’t living the good life. On July 4, my son was born, I got to watch fireworks from my hospital room.

Six weeks later I went back to work and went back to my old ways. I still put on the smile and went through the motions all the while partaking in some questionable past times with an “unavailable” person. See, going through the motions. I was still struggling with money, hated my job. I was just all together unwell. It was almost two years of bouncing from one crappy job to the next that a small door opened up. The church was looking for a new secretary. I started about a month later in May. Something about starting this new job changed me. I started actually seeing my errors and started truly paying attention in Sunday services. Every Sunday I got this feeling that this preacher, who was still getting to know me, was talking straight to me. I can see now it wasn’t the preacher, It was God. He was like yelling at me “GIRL!!!! Wake up!! Open your eyes!!!!” This new job was God’s way of saying “Hey! I got you. I have more planned for you.” Boy did he ever!! In the following spring I actually started back to school. I working towards a degree y’all!! I was also taking steps towards a new ministry at the church. A single mom’s ministry. I was on my way to starting a whole new life. My depression was under control. I was actually able to start paying off debts from my young and dumb days. Everything was falling into place. This wasn’t my doing though. I had finally turned everything over to God. I truly let Him in and let Him take the reins. I started listening to Him and doing all that I could to honor Him. God is good y’all! I now know what I am supposed to be doing, how I’m supposed to be using the gifts that God gave me. I now know, as long as I’m doing His work, I have nothing to fear. God is taking care of me and my son. He always has and always will.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.“
Psalm 34:18