Tag Archives: SingleMom

Been A Morning

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I’m not a huge coffee drinker. If I do drink coffee it has so much extra stuff in it that you can’t actually taste the coffee. Today, however, I needed something, I even got an extra shot in my Frappuccino!
I’m not sure who exactly coined the phrase “terrible twos” but I am pretty sure they didn’t have to deal with the after twos. It should be “terrible toddlers”. As infants, they cry when they need something, food, a clean diaper, tylenol, sleep, etc. Toddlers, on the other hand, cry because they left their shoes at the baby sitter’s house. This morning my toddler cried because yesterday he broke all the bananas off the bunch and so they were all super brown this morning. He also cried when I made him take the clothes he slept in to the dirty hamper, which he does everyday, along with taking his medicine.

Another thing, the toddler stage is where their attitude starts coming in. Since he was mad that he left his sandals at the sitter’s house, he did not want to wear his flip flops. These are the two shoes he WANTS to wear in the summer; sandals and flip flops. So what does he do? He knocks them off the end of the couch with way too much tude and says he doesn’t like them, that they are “ew”. Okay son, you wear them everyday but now they are “ew”. Besides, I wasn’t even putting them on him. He wanted to wear his paw patrol tennis shoes but his tude got the best of him so as he walked by the flip flops he…got rude. I call it being ugly. No matter how cute you are, throw a fit and you ugly! Needless to say he did not enjoy my reaction.

I do have to say that, even though they have big tudes, they sure don’t last very long. By the time we walked out to the car he was happy. No tude, just goofiness. Just an example of his goofiness, this past Sunday my mom had a hard time stifling her laughter because I had to tell my son to “get Fred out of his cereal.” Fred, from Scooby Doo, was taking a swim in my son’s Trix cereal.

“Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.”
–2 Timothy 4:2
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
— Ephesians 4:2

The Laundry

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Knowing I needed pants to wear to work this week, I went to the bathroom and just grabbed the unsorted pile of laundry that was in the floor and throw them in the washer. It wasn’t until I started to put them in the dryer that I find something else went in with the clothes. Everything I pulled out had this white stuff on it. Almost like a receipt had been in a pocket. The only thing was, there was too much for it to be a receipt. Then, I am able to see the bottom of the washer and there it is. A pull-up.

I am not one to just leave pull-ups laying around. I mean, the only time my son wears a pull-up is at night. I’m guessing one morning when he went potty after waking up he just left it in the floor. For the most part he wakes dry and clean so I’m not worried about what he had left in the pull-up. BTW, just like diapers, pull-ups start to disintegrate when they reach their limit!

So, I go ahead and put the laundry in the dryer cause I have no patience or energy to deal with it. Guess what….the dryer took care of it! No more white stuff! At least none on the tee shirt I pulled out and wore to work.

You would think after 4 years of mother-hood I would have learned to double check that I didn’t have something extra in my hands. Double checking is essential when you have a little one who likes to leave things where they land or put things in odd places.

The “Right” Kind of Help

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I am all about loving thy neighbor, but when that neighbor comes into your place of business just to criticize the kind of help you give, it becomes very difficult. I work for a non-profit that supports other organizations and their programs. We are not set up to just give out money, we don’t have a closet full of goods to hand out. We keep about 10 backpacks with basic hygiene products and a small blanket but that is it. Also, I’m all about helping people, where we live we don’t have an actual homeless shelter and yes that stinks and we need one, but we can’t just create a homeless shelter. We run off of donations given to our annual campaigns. That is how are able to do what we do. Now, to the homeless woman who likes to just walk in and criticize us that we aren’t helping in the “right” way, I am sorry your needs are not being met. We try to help the best we can, even in light of the current pandemic situations.

I try no to judge, I really do. However, when a person comes in twice in the span of a few months you get a little frustrated. The first time in she stated that she even had a degree in sociology, and then proceeded to grill a co-worker on her beliefs and her view of the world today, while criticizing her and our organization. This woman seems intelligent, I watch her walk up and down the street all day long pushing her cart so she isn’t completely disabled. It makes you wonder why she herself does not have a job. Matter of fact, instead of complaining to those who have no power, she herself could make a difference.

In times like these, it becomes difficult to be gracious and giving. Right after she left I had to say a prayer for the mean thoughts that ran through my head. I prayed for grace, mercy, and tolerance. Just a rule of thumb, you don’t pray for patience because he will test you! I prayed for forgiveness. It is so hard not to judge those that judge us. However, we do not have to act on those judgements. Just because something flashes across your mind doesn’t mean you have to say it or do it. Instead, wait for a second and see what else flashes through. It may be your saving grace.

“But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you…”
— Luke 6:27

Complacency

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I am terrible about being a person that settles with becoming complacent. “Things aren’t terrible so I’m good”. If you find yourself saying this guess what…you are not good! The worst part is what I become complacent in. My walk with God has not been in something I seek to improve on. Even though there is no church services for me right now does not give me a reason to slack. I say a prayer every now and then, I sit in on the zoom meetings with my Sunday school class and I am still going through the motions, but I am not growing as a Christian. I can’t remember the last time I actually opened my bible. I carry it with me in my backpack. It goes to work, school, anywhere my backpack goes which is, for the most part, everywhere. About once a week I think to myself, “I’m going to start reading this and doing that”. Do I ever actually do it? NOPE! You know why? I have become COMPLACENT! Want to know what this leads to????? Complacency in other parts of your life. Think of it like an infection, if you don’t clear it out and get your butt in gear everything you do is going to be “not bad, so it’s good”. The worst part, it is going to spread to how you interact with your kids. “They aren’t bothering me so it’s fine.” Not fine. This is something I need to work on and I know it, but again, complacency. Another way to think about it is like glitter. If you ever do any arts or crafts with glitter then you know the problem. “A little dash of glitter will jazz this up”. NOPE! There is no such thing as a little dash of glitter. It spreads. A year later you will still find it in the floor and getting stuck to your feet. Same thing with complacency. “I need to clean the car. But it is hot and it doesn’t smell and nobody will know it is messy. I’ll do it tomorrow.” Then, a month down the road you still haven’t cleaned it.

What we don’t realize is that being complacent in your walk with God is actually hurting you and setting you up to fall on your face. The longer you go without growing in your faith, the more vulnerable you are to temptations. Your faith is like a muscle. If you don’t use it and work at it, it atrophies. Complacency is almost worse than turning away from God because you don’t know that it is happening. It just hits you one day that you can’t remember the last real prayer you said, or the last thing you studied. If you aren’t growing in your faith, are you even living in your faith?

“One who is slack in his work is brother to one who destroys.”
— Proverbs 18:9

DON’T Fight the Power

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Ever find yourself fighting tooth and nail for something YOU want? Does it ever seem like you are “settling” instead of getting what YOU want? We, as human beings, have a selfish nature about us. Think about your day-to-day life and see if you can count how many times you think “what do I want?”. Now, think about how many times getting what you want has actually caused problems? Sometimes the job we want and the job God has for us are two very different things. Same with cars, houses, the people in our lives. I can look back and see the things I have gotten because I wanted them and how that turned out differently than expected. One job may have a better pay, but the other might be where God wants you. You could be there to impact the people around you and spread His love. Maybe that other job required you to travel all the time and be away from your family. Maybe it would mean working with people who would end up bringing you down, or leading you away from God.
If you find your dream car at a you are willing to pay, but it doesn’t fit into the life you are living and you need something else. You find yourself in a “this or that” situation because of what YOU want. Sometimes that dream car has flaws you don’t even know about yet. Flaws that you don’t find until you’re stuck on the side of the road and you now know why that dream car was priced just right; it’s a piece of junk. For those with kids, how many times have you offered a cookie or treat to your child and they refuse because it isn’t the RIGHT cookie. For my son, it is utensils and cups that I often get wrong. He also has no preference on clothes until the morning and I have gotten the “wrong” shirt.

How many times do we find ourselves fighting God because we aren’t getting our way. God knows where we are supposed to be, when we are supposed to be there, and who we are supposed to be with. Instead of fighting against the things we don’t want all the time, we should be open to seeing what God has in store for us. The path He has for you may not be the most glamorous and/or ideal for US, but it is exactly where you are supposed to be. Think about Jesus for a second. Do you think he was excited about his crucifixion? Probably not. However, he didn’t fight it. When Judas betrayed him and led the guards to him, he didn’t fight. He didn’t let his disciples fight. He knew his path was going to be hard and painful. He also knew what his path meant. It was God’s path and he didn’t fight against it. He fought FOR it. So maybe we should too.

“Jesus Commanded Peter; ‘Put your sword away! Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?'” –John 18:11

When you are unsure of God’s choice, ask Him for it.

I Dropped the Ball

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I am not an avid coffee drinker. When I do purchase “coffee” it has so many flavorings and additives that you can’t taste the coffee very much, i.e. Caramel-Mocha Frappuccino from Starbucks. Well, there is a local coffee shack that every coffee lover goes nuts for. I, however, would rather have smoothie king in the mornings. With that being said, previously working at a church means that between Christmas and Staff Appreciation in October, I received 3 gift cards to the local coffee shack. $30 worth of coffee. With one of the cards, I did what I did last year, and gave it to someone else in the office that gets their coffee there every morning. The other two, I kept so I could give the place an actual chance. A month or so ago, I did just that. It was alright, but it is definitely for the coffee lover. A bit too strong for me, even as a blended drink. Then, today I forgot to grab my drink from the fridge so I decided, one more chance. I get to the drive-thru window and the guy tells me that the person in front has paid for mine. One of those pay-it-forward chains. Between my anxiety about going to a place I’m not used to, holding up the line due to them punching my punch card, and trying to pay with 2 gift cards, I got frazzled and dropped one of the gift cards. Which of course made the anxiousness worse and I couldn’t stand it and pulled away with my drink. I BROKE THE CHAIN!! As I rolled out of their lot and up to the main street, I found the fallen card. In my lap, kind of stuck between my legs. If I had just looked down…..

I need to restore the chain! So, I am now trying to think of how to just give the gift cards and my punch card for the shack to use until it is all used up. You can’t just walk in because, like I said, it’s a shack with drive-thru windows on both sides. Remember me saying that coffee lovers go nuts for this place? Even with two windows and a guy that walks through the cars with a tablet taking orders, both lines are always long.

Moral of the story, don’t worry so much. If anxiety is something you struggle with, like I do, it makes life harder than it already is. It turns the simplest things, like getting coffee, into a big ordeal. You can’t control every little thing, in every little situation. Don’t worry about what people may think if you don’t know something or you don’t know how to order. They don’t actually care. If it turns out they do care, they got problems too, so just pray for them people. Letting anxiety take over can ruin your day, cause you to miss important little moments, and even bring down the people around you. So, take a breath and let it be.

25 “‘Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life[a]? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?'” –Luke 12:25-26


Surviving The Storm

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The Corona Virus has come and rocked our world. Businesses have closed, or at least modified their way of operating. Big companies and small businesses have had alter their day to day operations. People have lost jobs or moved to working from home. There are still many people working, such as medical fields, food industries, grocery workers. Even I still come into the office everyday, but our door is closed and locked to the public. As of now, there are no definitive plans for anything. It’s what they are calling a “fluid” situation. People are having to quarantine themselves. If you don’t see how it has become a problem, you are part of the problem. However, just go to google and search for “covid-19” and you will soon learn. With all this negativity though, I have seen some pretty good things. People waiving rent for those affected. People helping people with everyday necessities, monetary donations, donations of clothing and food. I have personally seen people come together in a way God would want us too. For a while now I have had the thought that God is putting us through this to reconnect our world. A world that has become so divided we can’t tell right from wrong anymore.

We thought it couldn’t be worse. Then, Saturday March 30, a tornado barreled its way through our town. Today is 2 days after the storm and our injury/fatality number sits at 18 MINOR injuries. This storm ripped a part a mall. A mall that on a normal Saturday would have been packed with people. Not to mention the houses and stores surrounding it. However, because of covid-19 quarantine rules set in place, the stores were practically empty. To say the least, covid-19 saved a lot of people Saturday. I work at a local non-profit and I can tell you the giving torwards those in need right now has just begun, and boy it has started off with a bang.

Instead of looking at all the darkness going on, Focus on the good that is coming out of it. See what God wants you to see, not what the devil wants. God is trying to bring us together and keep us safe. God is in control. In all the chaos that is happening, find your calm in the storm, in Him.

Slacking

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I don’t know what it is about this year already. For some reason I have been slacking in sticking to my readings. Not only the readings, but I have missed too many Sundays already. I haven’t been praying like I should either. If you were to look at my life the past few months, you would be able to tell. It has been a roller coaster of ups and downs; mainly downs. The ups aren’t as big as the downs. It’s that whole “1 step forward, 3 steps back” type of thing. For instance, my car going out when we are about an hour away from home wasn’t pleasant. Finally getting it towed to the shop so they could tell me the transmission is just shot. Unfortunately, them ordering a used one is the same cost as having someone rebuild it; $2500, not including labor and fluid. Now, I don’t know how many of you can drop that kind of money just whenever, but I am not one of those people. So I started looking online, and there were some options, but though they may be cheaper, they may not be as good. So, do you go with the cheaper option that is only warrantied for 6 months, or the expensive option which is warranted for 3 years? Well, here is when I did that thing where you hit hard times and ask God for help. Never mind that you haven’t been keeping in touch like you should have been for the past 3 months. At 8:10 last night a text message comes in. On the outside it just seems like a dad helping out his daughter, but I know the truth. It was God, and he was saying “see what happens when you let me do the work”. He is really good about giving you those “I told you so” moments.

There is something about these times though. When you have been slacking in your faith, and then turn yourself around to find the light again, it’s refreshing. I can honestly tell when I have been getting sloppy and sidetracked from my path. I get tired, lethargic, lazy, moody. Just all around…..blah! When I start correcting these mistakes, the light starts shining on my face again. I feel more energetic. I get more stuff done. I’m just all together happier and more productive. When I am purposefully walking with God, even the bad things don’t seem so bad. Life becomes more “3 steps forward, 1 step back”.

When hard times come around, think back on when it started and take a look at your faith. Has it faltered, even just the tiniest bit? God knows we will stumble and fall, but He is always there for us when we try to get back up.

“The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.” –Proverbs 13:4

The Devil Never Sleeps

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Drove an hour to meet family at the zoo on Saturday and it was a fun family outing. Leaving the zoo, however, is a different story. My transmission quit working and my brother-in-law had to drag me through the city to a parts store for a new battery because mine had quite a bit of corrosion build-up. Prayed it would fix it enough to get us home; it did not! Couldn’t even drive it around the parking lot. He pushes me back into a parking spot and we all pile in his truck. Thank the Lord it is a large truck. Between the two families there were 7 of us. They live about 2 1/2 hours in the opposite direction than we do, but they were nice enough to get us home. My sister got a hotel room for them so that the brother-in-law and I could get a trailer and go get my car. The crazy part….when we got back to the car it drove right up on the trailer with no problem at all. When we got it home, it backed off the trailer with no problem. The strangest intermittent transmission problem I have ever seen. This odd ball behavior is what led 3 different people to think it was/is an electrical problem. Hence the replacing of the battery. We didn’t get back in town until after midnight. Needless to say, me and the little slept through church Sunday morning. Since my car can’t be trusted, I am sharing a car with my mother until my car gets sorted out.

Now for an annoyance, the steristrips (butterfly bandages) on my incision came off in the shower last night and personally, it doesn’t look closed up enough to leave it uncovered. With it being on the palm of my hand, I’m assuming all the movement just wore them off faster, so now I have a giant band-aid. It was either this giant one or a few of a smaller size and something told me I didn’t want to risk the sticky part getting stuck on the incision. Something about that happening did not seem like a good idea.
Plus, the night before I was sitting in the floor taking the harness straps out of the little’s seat for him to start using it as a booster. You don’t realize how important hand/wrist health is until you are trying to get those suckers out. I don’t remember these being that hard to put into the seat. If you have ever dealt with straps on a car seat then you know the ends are thick. They fold them over, I’m assuming so they don’t come out by themselves, more than once so they are thick and won’t go through the space, so there they sit; random straps. To top it off, getting up out of the floor I lost my balance a little, and natural instincts kicked in. That is right, I righted myself with the wrong hand. Worst pain I have felt throughout this whole experience.

It has been a rough year, to say the least, and it is only March. The thing I keep telling myself is that I will come out of this. These troublesome days are part of Satan’s plan to break me down. It is hard, but I will not bend. My faith is in God, and He will get me through it. He is my armor and arsenal. I will keep my eyes open to what this is. The devil trying to break me and I will not let him.

The Devil never sleeps, but neither does God. Keep on moving, keep your eyes on the right the side. The winning side. God’s side. In the words of Rodney Atkins:
“If you’re goin’ through hell keep on going. Don’t slow down, if you’re scared don’t show it. You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there. Yeah if you’re goin’ through hell, keep on movin’. Face that fire walk right through it. You might get out before the devil even knows you’re there. ” –Rodney Atkins, “If You’re Going Through Hell”

 7 “The Lord said to Satan, ‘Where have you come from?’ Satan answered the Lord, ‘From roaming throughout the earth, going back and forth on it.'” –Job 1:7

11 “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” –Jeremiah 29:11

On The One Hand

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I have never related to Rachel Green so much in my life. (The One with the Chick and the Duck – 11:14) February 20th I had carpal tunnel surgery. Fun, right?! The worst part isn’t the discomfort or pain, but rather trying to do things with one hand. I am a right handed person, and as such, I never noticed how much of a right handed world we live in until now. To all those southpaws out there, kudos to you for making it in this right hand world.

Another thing about being a hand down, is the fear of your 40-50 pound toddler eyeing you from the other end of the couch (which happens to be on my right) with his legs looking like springs. Trying to explain to a toddler why he can’t do the thing he loves doing is harder than you think. His mouth says “ok mommy” but his brain just doesn’t quite get it the first time. I think God put this instinctive reaction in us for these purposes. I’m not a fast person and yet when the turddler gets that look in his eyes I’m suddenly Usain Bolt going for the gold!

Also, taking a shower when you can’t get your hand wet is interesting. It takes what feels like a good 10 minutes just to get the plastic in place before getting in the shower. To whomever decided to put pump nozzles on shampoos and conditioners, I thank you! It’s the things you don’t think about until you are in this situation that make the biggest impact. Another example are leggings and other pant like clothing. I haven’t worn a pair of jeans in over a week. Buttoning, zipping, and belting is something I never knew I took for granted. Along with tying shoes, peeling a cutie, punching the straw into a capri sun pouch. There is a reason why there is a specialty that helps children/people make sure their fine motor skills are up to par. (Bless those people!) This also means no makeup has touched my face. My left hand isn’t the greatest in the fine motor skills area. It is a little shaky and mascara/eyeliner on the eyeball is definitely not the greatest feeling. Plus, knowing my luck my hand would jerk and I would end up with eyeliner line going up to my eyebrow instead of across.

I would like to ask God one thing though; why do we have a dominant hand? Couldn’t we all just be ambidextrous? Wouldn’t it be easier? Maybe instead I should ask creators of the stuff we use to make the stuff ambidextrous? Like the computer mouse. I don’t think my left middle finger has ever worked so much. The phone is on the right, the shifter in the car is on the right, which I’m thankful I don’t drive a standard anymore, even the cup holders are on the right.
You also don’t realize how much that second hand comes in handy until you are driving down the highway and your mom calls and you don’t have “handsfree”. You don’t shady button ya momma. If you do….you weren’t raised by my momma!!!!

My follow up appointment is in the morning (3/3/20) and hopefully I can take this….thing off my hand. Not only do I miss being able to do things, my arm gets hot and itchy! If I didn’t have an incision to worry about I would do the old pencil scratch trick!

Moral of the story, be grateful for all the little things God has given you in life!

16 “Rejoice always, 17 pray continually, 18 give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” –1 Thess. 5:16-18

“2 Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits— 3 who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, 4 who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, 5 who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” –Psalm 103:2-5