Tag Archives: SingleMom

Life’s A Puzzle

In life there will be times when things don’t seem to be going. Going good, going bad, or going anywhere. If you’re anything like me you get a little impatient. Stubborn too. We try to do things our way and sometimes, we get a little lost in our thoughts and then one day we realize, we have strayed from the path. Now, you find yourself wondering which direction you came from. So, you spin in circles. This is where the puzzle is.

In a moment it’s like someone laid out one of those big floor puzzles for kids. They put all the pieces face up and in the right spots, just didn’t connect them. Now, they put a blind fold on you and randomly turn/flip all the pieces. Still in the same spot, but not the right position. With that blindfold on, you have to put the puzzle together. Doing this on our own is impossible. You might, maybe, eventually, get it together. Instead, we need to stop and listen. You might find that the person laying it all out for you is God and He is telling you what to do. He is giving you all the right directions. Constantly instructing you on how to put this puzzle together. You may not be able to see Him, but if you stop and listen, you WILL hear Him.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” –Psalm 32:8

The Blankey

I feel it is safe to say that at some point in time, every toddler has that one thing they want to take everywhere. Which is how they get to be so dirty. Finding the time to wash the thing is the trickiest. Can’t be too close to nap time during the day or bedtime at night. If you are like me and work during the day you have to be sneaky about it and pray they don’t notice you putting it in the wash. They could leave it somewhere for over an hour but the second they see it disappearing into that machine, Lord have mercy on you.

We were at a basketball game Monday night and if he had not just been woken up we wouldn’t have taken the blanket to the game, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do . That is when I realized, this thing is FILTHY! He was slinging it everywhere, ya know being a 3 year old, and wollering around with it. It wasn’t until he was sitting on my lap with it kinda wrapped around himself that I smelled it. Oh the smell of little boys!

My son is one of those whose body heat sky rockets as soon as he falls asleep. If he falls asleep snuggling with you, you both end up sweating. Add on to that by him sometimes putting a corner of it in his mouth, and his thumb sucking and you can imagine. I didn’t think about it being that bad smelly. Then, it hit me. He spent all day with his great grandma because his sitter was sick, which meant EXTRA snuggles!! I kept hoping the people around us couldn’t smell it like I could. This would just so happen to be a boys game, so the place was packed!!

By the time the game was over it is bedtime so I couldn’t go home and throw it in the wash. I had to wait for him to be gone the next day. He doesn’t take it with him to his sitter’s house and I get off at 2 in the afternoon which meant I went home and started a load of laundry. I had about 2 hours before going to pick him up and going to yet another game. I knew the washing wouldn’t take too long. It is the drying that holds up progress. Like I said earlier though, we don’t usually take the blanket to games so when we got home and he couldn’t find his blanket…here comes the worry. You can see it all over his face, hear it in his voice. This thing is the first thing he wants when we get home. “My lightning blankey!!!!!” I tell him it is in the dryer and he beats me to it. He opens the door and pulls out the holy grail! Along with the other clean clothes. Now Lightning doesn’t smell like little boy anymore. He smells like Snuggle!

“Security is a strange thing, a myth that the brain allows in exchange for a brief moment of peace.”
― Alessandra Torre, To Have

The Kids & The Oxen

This week, at our Wednesday small group class, a topic arose. The topic of a clean house. One thing was pointed out, without kids our houses are clean and tidy. Everything has a place. Even when our kids are babies, the toys have a basket or something to go in. Then they get a little bit older and start doing things themselves and dumping whole toy boxes out. This is where things get messy. As our kids get bigger, so do their toys. So do their messes. However, if you take a look at it, a lot of it is just clutter. That isn’t a dirty house; it is a full house.

One thing we as mothers tend to focus on is the cleaning of the house. Picking up toys all day, along with socks and clothes that get left in the floor. Again, it is clutter. We need to remember that a home with kids in it is going to be full of this clutter. In these circumstances a cluttered home is a home full of play an laughter. Let the kids be kids and don’t worry about the clutter. Kids are the ones that you can truly say, the messier they are, the happier they are.

“Without oxen a stable stays clean, but you need a strong ox for a large harvest.”
–Proverbs 14:4

The Sandwich

Here in this town there is a running joke. Being in the South means, we don’t get a lot of snow. Usually it is more ice and when we do get it EVERYTHING shuts down and people suddenly lose all common sense and still think they can drive. So, if the weather man even mentions “winter weather” there are 2 things the stores run out of. Milk and bread. Just those two things. Running joke being these people eat a lot of milk sandwiches in the winter. However, I did the same thing yesterday. Grant it, I’m not sure if the weather man ever forecasted “winter weather” but I had gone all weekend without milk. Having a toddler AND being the cereal lover I am, that was too long. Plus, It is January; the month after Christmas and before tax returns come in….Momma is broke! Being broke means we eat sandwiches. Here lately these sandwiches have been tasting really good too for some reason. Nothing fancy, just basic sandwiches. Well, we ran out of bread by Sunday. So, yesterday, Tuesday, I run to the store when I get off work and by my milk and bread. Feeling like a goober with my milk sandwich ingredients I get home and start getting the real stuff out. Ketchup, mayo, cheese, all that jazz. Lastly I go for the sandwich meat. Guess what is gone. Was there Monday, not there now. Really?! Looking forward to eating my sandwich all day and I still can’t get it. Being a toddler mom I do have the pb&j. Then I see something in the pantry. Instead of pb, I used Nutella. It didn’t quite hit the spot though. So, of course, I still spent the rest of the afternoon looking for something to snack on. I hate it when your taste buds get excited for something they can’t have. It leaves you eating everything in sight trying to fill that seemingly bottomless pit. Cravings will get you everytime.

“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.”
― Mark Twain

Struggle Bus Coming Through

Sometimes I feel like an inflatable lifeboat in the middle of a hurricane. Even though the holiday season is over, this momma is still recovering; mentally and financially, but mostly financially. Christmas is one of the hardest seasons on an income and this recovery process is rough. Getting a third job seems more and more necessary. Seeing the good side of things gets harder and harder. However, I know God has plans for me. I know He is going to take care of me and guide me through these troubled waters. Until I see land I just have to keep on rowing and just stay afloat. Doing this means I just gotta keep trusting and turning to Him.

With all this, I have to be real and say that this was brought upon myself. Last spring, summer, and this past fall I was fine, I had enough money to put back, but I am one that likes to shop in my free time and well, you get the picture. I mean, my son didn’t need ALL of those clothes and toys. Trust me, he has plenty, of both! I did have some big necessary purchases in the fall, but still, I tend to splurge more than I should. I argued with myself multiple times of day about my spending, but I kept on trucking. Of course, these good days were the days I was putting God first. Yet, the whole month of December He was pushed to the back burner again. Honestly, He has been there this month too. Just in the nick of time, the scheduled classes and d-groups are starting back up. Yes, it means a busy week but it helps me keep Him in my main line of sight and makes it harder for me to push my faith to the side. I know I have to keep reading, and learning, and spreading His message and love.

This struggle bus will push on!!

**Am I the only one that sees Ms. Fritter from Cars 3 when talking about the struggle bus? undefined

“I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” –Romans 8:18

#Mondays

It’s a Monday again. Usually I am not one to complain about Mondays, but I certainly could have slept on sleeping when my alarm went off this morning. I thought I was going to be really late to D-Group, when in fact I was only like 5 minutes late. Plus, there was only 1 person on the road that almost caused a wreck. Just an FYI, it is always best to look before you merge into a lane; but all was good. I went on to work at 9 and I overcooked my pop-tart. There is no toaster so I was heating it up in the microwave which I have done too many times to count. This time, I left it in there just a few seconds too long. The thing about overcooked pop-tarts is, when done in the microwave, they don’t burn. Instead, when they have cooled off enough to be edible, they get HARD. I’m not talking crunchy hard, I mean they quickly
become chewy like the candy sugar babies,
undefined and then they become a brick. Needless to say I am anxiously awaiting 2:00 so I can have something in my belly other than half a chewy pop-tart and a Pepsi.

Days that start out like today tend to make you wanna use a few choice words every now and then. Maybe call a person a name or too.
FEAR NOT!!! The Lord is with you!!

“For we live by faith, not by sight.” –2 Corinthians 5:7

No Coincidences

Last night was the first night of me leading a small group class. A midweek class. I decided to do the study “Becoming Mom Strong” by Heidi St. John. I was super nervous, I have never led anyone in anything. Especially not a bible study. I am not a teacher and in no way an expert on anything. I was truly surprised by the number of ladies that were there last night. Almost 20 ladies are in the class. Not only did I get to break the ice with people I don’t know at all, I got to see other connections being formed. This was my first glimpse into what God has been telling me to do.

After the class I got to witness even more. One of the moms came up to me with tears in her eyes and told me how much she needed this. A few years ago she had gone through something similar with her husband and hasn’t fully found a solid ground yet. In that moment I had nothing but confidence and reassurance that I was on the right track. The need I thought I saw in the church was even bigger than I had realized. I asked this mom if she had gotten into a sunday school class since then. Being a fairly recent single mom, she was nervous because most of the classes that meet in the hour she attends are couples classes; or are at least labeled “couples”. Now, 3 other ladies had stuck around for a few minutes and when one of them heard this mom needed a class, she immediately jumped in. Turns out this lady is starting up a new class this Sunday. No labels or anything.

A little bit later me and the new leader were walking out and she told me she had received a list of people to reach out to who may need help getting connected within the life of the church. Those that need a church family to lean on. It just so happens this mom that is going through all this is on that list. God was in that room!! Never before have I been so reassured that I was doing the right thing!!

This was just one of the connections I saw happen. I witnessed with my own eyes. I now see just how much my vision was needed for this.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”
–Ecclesiastes 3:1

It’s Been A Minute

Hello all. It has been a minute since I have written anything. It hasn’t been for lack of topics, rather lack time and energy. Good news is, the new job so far is going great. Haven’t learned everything I need to, but it is coming along. I am starting to see the possible reasoning behind God’s plan to move me here.

When I started working at the Church over a year ago, I didn’t necessarily expect to be doing that job forever. After a few months I knew I wouldn’t be staying in that position specifically. I had a feeling God had a different place for me. However, I thought I would just be changing roles, not place of employment. Whenever they told me about the position being eliminated I wasn’t ready. I thought I still had stuff to work on before this point. I thought I would be in that position until time to take on a different role. Yet, now I think I am starting to see God’s plan.

I am now working at the local United Way office as an office assistant. Basically, the same kind of stuff I was doing at the church, but a little more involved. I am getting to go to events and sit at a booth and talk about what we have going on. I get to go to libraries to sign kids up to a free book program we have. I am in staff and board meetings. As like normal office assistants there is the paperwork I process as well. I was put here to get involved in things in the community. I am starting a single mother ministry, how could I be successful without getting into the community. God knew I would need this to reach those that need Him most.

One aspect of this job is the networking. I am getting to know people who give back to the community. I get to know more people in the community. God used the church job as my stepping stone to getting the ball rolling on a new ministry. To see the hole that needs to be filled in His kingdom. I believe that He put me here at United Way for me to grow, and for the vision I have for the ministry to come to life. I am here to make a difference and spread His light and love to the single mother’s that don’t know Him yet, or that don’t feel they deserve His love. I am here to lead them to a church home so that they can come to know Him and to love Him.

We never will know what step is coming next. As long as we step with God, He will lead us down the right path.

“In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
–Proverbs 16:9

No Coincidences

About 2 weeks ago I got news about my position in the office being eliminated. Well, after 2 weeks I now have a new job starting January 2 at United Way. What leaves me awe struck isn’t how fast I found a replacement job, but the circumstances around it.

We all know offices don’t just make hasty decisions like this. At least not this one. Everything gets prayed over for weeks before anything is decided. So, as my current employers were deciding to take out my position, my future employers were deciding to create a new position in their office. As my door was closing, another was opening.

Throughout those 2 weeks I kept saying that God just has a plan for me and I didn’t know it yet. God is taking me somewhere and using me for something. What that is, I have no clue, but I am going to follow where he leads. (Cue the Gilmore Girls theme song) Going through life without God is like hiking through unknown mountain ranges without a guide and compass. You are going to get lost.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” –Proverbs 3:5-6

“Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.'” –Isaiah 30:21

The Reason for the Season

This time of year seems to be the busiest. Travel plans, gift buying, keeping track of which family is where. We have crammed so much into such a short amount of time that we can’t truly enjoy it. It has also caused us to forget the true meaning of this holiday. Once Halloween is over people instantly get into Christmas mode. Making lists for themselves and lists for buying to give to other people. We can’t wait for those Christmas bonuses and Christmas club checks to hit the bank. We just keep going, going, going, and more going. Going to see family. Going to buy presents. Going to buy decorations. Going to buy wrapping paper. Going out to eat. Going to parties.

For those of us where money is really tight, Christmas is stressful. All of a sudden you have to buy as many cool toys as possible for your kids. The newest outfit for your parents or sibling. Our focus has been taken off of the the reason for the season. The real reason for the season. I too am guilt of forgetting the important part of this season.

Christmas wasn’t just created by marketing companies to bring in buckets of revenue. They just piggy backed for the profits. Christmas is for celebrating the birth of Jesus; the true ultimate gift. God gifted us with the birth of Jesus so that he could die for our sins to be wiped away. For our sins to be forgiven. The reason we gift things to each other is to symbolize the gifts given by the wisemen. Over the years the gift giving has become something completely different.

Don’t let this time of year become too much of a stresser. Just relax and enjoy the time spent with family and friends. Don’t worry about getting the “perfect” gift. Anything given in love is enough for those that love you too.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows” –James 1:17

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders. And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” –Isaiah 9:6